


Adam B'stard

by SpottyAnarchist5



Category: The New Statesman (TV 1987)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fusion, Alternate Universe - Politics, British Character, British Comedy, British Politics, British Slang, Caning, Cyborgs, Demonic Possession, Demons, Experimentation, Father-Son Relationship, Foreplay, Gen, Implied Relationships, Love Triangles, Magical Boys, Mind Control, Panic, Partial Mind Control, Politics, Presumed Dead, Self-Insert, Sexual Roleplay, Sharing a Brain, Snogging, Spanking, SpongeBob SquarePants References, Transformation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-09
Updated: 2018-06-21
Packaged: 2019-03-29 03:04:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13918032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpottyAnarchist5/pseuds/SpottyAnarchist5
Summary: Alan is back but in the mind of his elder son Adam who is a shy timid Politics student





	1. Adam

The sky was dull on the afternoon of  June 9th 2014 and the infamous conservative prime minister Alan B’stard had died following a skydiving orgy incident which he was laid to rest after inhaling a final breath during a Polynesian massage.

Sarah was a proud rich happy woman the swine she despised as a so called husband was no longer alive and the media didn't even report his death which didn't really affect anything in the world.

Until Sarah remembered during the funeral that Alan’s mum had told her Alan used to be a sperm donator at a young age and that there was a recent scientific breakthrough where dead people’s memories could still be retained by making clones of them via fusing their dna.

She knew Alan had 5 kids and the 5th child was like the spitting image of his father except he lived in a foster home but would occasionally stay over at Sarah’s she had learned “Adam” was in his mid twenties now and happened to do a political science course at his university Sarah had an idea that if she could make something about her late husband desirable it would be his offspring having Adam get a soul transfusion between him and his late dad's soul 

The operation was a success, Adam and Alan had now been fused, it felt like devilish massage (of Alan’s demons flying around him)

Adam awoke, shook his head a bit and processed what memories had now entered his brain

“Who are you”? 

Alan’s prideful baleful voice answered

“Who do you think it is?”

Adam was puzzled

“Aren’t you dead?”

Alan answered

“Yes and it’s boring I’ll tell you that”

Adam started asking questions 

“What was it like ruling Britain?”

Alan boasted 

“Well I ruled the country better than May or Corbyn did”

Adam was even more curious 

“True so tell me what you endured”

Alan started his long anecdote 

“I got wrongly imprisoned in a California prison due to possession of cocaine which I actually got from a soap opera actor I was planning to shag”

listing the meaningful events that had previously happened to him

“I once spent time in a Siberian camp, Old Mumsy didn't know my gender until I was 15,Ive been with many girls,I once worked with Labour for a short time,I once got the BBC temporarily banned,I once worked with a trans woman accountant called Norma,I’m terrible in bed,I had to disguise myself as an anti fascist protester once,I used to have an assistant called Piers who was stupid beyond belief while there was one time one of the fellow politicians thought I was Queer

Adam was taken aback that he could be related to such a person

"Wow that’s a lot to have dealt with….compared to me am I inferior?"

Alan tried to think 

"Well you are now part of me so of course not,I’m amazing who can deny that and Adam don’t be stupid you’re the son of a MP surely your popular at school aren't you I mean weren't you?"

Adam frowned

"Not really…not many people paid attention to me, considering the way things are now I’m too scared to talk to people sometimes because of my conservative views the world is more politically correct now, soldiers who fight terrorists are getting arrested,the economy is sinking,May is taking centre stage and America is ruled by an orange"

Alan brushed Adam's woes off 

"Don’t be scared and politically correct  what nonsense"

he then read a newspaper article

"Oh no that is bad which means you can save the day and defeat may"

the corny line had made Adam cringe 

"Dad never say that again you’re a dead prime minister, not a kid"

Alan doted

"Can’t I say something that isn't sadistic or involving innuendo to my own offspring?"

 


	2. Adam and Alex

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam meets a former far left anti facist activist and talks to him in a cafe

The next day Adam was at a cafe with a friendly bloke who offered him free ice cream 

Adam said  

"isn't it great that we are finally doing something about the overuse of political correctness"  
  
the friendly bloke nodded   
  
"I'm Alex I used to be apart of a far left anti-fascist organization but now I'm more center"

Adam introduced himself   
  
"I'm center too I'm centre right the name's Adam B'stard I'm the nephew of the former MP Alan B'stard who ran against Thatcher in the mid-80s and 90s"

Alex was curious at the mention of the now dead Margaret Thatcher  
  
"Thatcher? that's a bit conservative isn't it was he a Thatcherite?"   
  
Adam sarcastically said

"No of course not he just used his manipulative ways to work with her just so he could get his way even though it was during that time despite how rich he was he kept getting screwed over but he had such pride and libido it didn't seem to bother him"

Alex asked  
  
"were you close to him?" 

Adam explained   
  
"Well actually I'm a clone of him I carry his memories but I'm also his nephew because I'm related to his son that and his life was in a tv show called The New Statesman"

Alex said

"Interesting, my dad might've watched that I remember seeing VHS tapes of that show didn't Alan B'stard die 4 years ago?"

Adam swallowed 

"Yes, but I plan to carry on his legacy not sure how that would work though he makes getting birds, seem so suave and easy I am no good at speeches or debates"

Alex disagreed

"You can try I believe in you let's have ice-cream again someday nice to see a tory who is more center like me"

 they then left 


	3. Your politics isn’t the only thing that will be red tonight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alan gives Adam advice on how to pleasure a uni mate of his while she comes out about being a communist.

Adam was at a café meeting with another uni mate of his Kelsie, they took different subjects but they got along, he wasn't in his casual attire because earlier his class had a debate roleplay session so he was wearing Alan’s old suit”

“Hello, Kelsie you wanted to see me?”

Kelsie answered,

“No I mean Yes I mean ugh I don’t know”

Adam cringed,

“you can’t be serious Kelsie we go to the same university”

Kelsie remembered,

“Oh yeah Adam you’re the political studies student I see at lunch sometimes”

Adam nodded,

Kelsie said

“I’ve been feeling politically confused recently?”

How so? Asked Adam as he folded his hands

Kelsie explained 

"Well I hate May I hate my own home countries politics and me, I 've become a communist"

Adam was puzzled. “A Communist didn’t you say you were an anarchist and that you are against anarcho-communism”

Kelsie added on,

"I know but I recently learned that communist was a western term made so they couldn’t mention socialism like it was a naughty word or something"

Adam asked,

“didn’t you used to defend the socialist ideology?”

Kelsie responded,

“yep until I became a social anarchist which still involves socialism to some extent yet I guess it was my slavaboo guilt

Adam had no idea what slavaboo meant. "Kelsie, what on earth is a slavaboo?"

Kelsie gave Adam the definition,

"Someone who isn't Slavic who is over obsessed with Slavic culture and anything to do with the soviet union the more extreme slavaboos fake Slavic accents to pretend to be slavic themselves"

Adam started to understand,

“ I see so your feeling like your guilty of being a red?”

Kelsie confessed,

“Yes part of me doesn’t like communism because everyone gets too greedy in the end but then again workers rights are one of the many human rights...

d-do you accept me for being the social anarchist that I am?”

Adam accepted the stance

“Yes, some modern communists are fans of Corbyn are you?”

Kelsie shut down the question

“Nah he keeps changing his mind on things he’s like the British Marx, Oh great I’m even speaking like a red shirt”

Adam responded

“red shirt is a character type Kelsie,do you think they would think you’re a filthy tory supporter?”

Kelsie shrugged,

“Probably but I hate the Tory government”

Adam turned his eyes sideways smirking,

“yet you're talking to me, the son of a former MP”

Kelsie nodded

“true”

Adam made a kinky suggestion

“would you like some relief from the political denial?”

Kelsie was a bit surprised by the sudden change of topic

“since when did you become a doctor?”

Adam brushed it off,

“I’m not but my brother is and I know one of the reliefs that work for you is torture”

Kelsie tried to guess what he was getting at. “so what are you going to do?,bite me like a vampire?"

“Just a bit of roleplay,” said Adam as he took Kelsie’s hand as they started walking somewhere

Kelsie asked,

“ok, who am I then?”

Adam cut her off

“last I checked you were my uni mate Kelsie”

Kelsie rolled her eyes,

“right, and I’m tired out due to studying can I skip the switch?”

Adam simply said “I’m not using a switch”

Kelsie then remembered,

“Wasn’t your dad in a sitcom?”

Adam replied “Yes, The New Statesman on ITV

Kelsie gushed,

“I loved that show, Alan  B’stard made me realize I could be aroused by people that weren’t anime sketches”

“Oh,” Adam realized as he blushed.

Adam and Kelsie had made it to their destination; it was his house inside his dad’s old office. “Have you guessed what role I’m playing?”

Kelsie knew what he meant,

“What, this is getting kinky and I already know you’re the master”

Adam chuckled

“Ha, my brother says that a lot “listen to your master”,

Kelsie noticed the similarities between the late Alan and Adam

“I’ve just now realised you have a slight resemblance to your dad in that cosplay”

Adam smirked wider

“This isn’t cosplay this is one of his old suits”

Kelsie smirked back,

“Well you still look handsome in that suit James Bond is overrated but I’d like Adam to give me plenty of Quantum and Solace”

Adam then revealed what he had planned

“and your politics isn’t the only thing that will be red tonight”

Kelsie tried to guess what he meant,

“I do enjoy red velvet biscuits,” Kelsie said as she was then bent over a bench to which she knew exactly what was happening and she loved it.

Adam could feel Alan’s sadism inside of him as he felt like a demon possessing his body and he was enjoying that feeling

“People generalize us conservatives don’t they? I’m not a tory I’m a backbencher”. Adam exclaimed seductively as he took out a yellow rattan cane and smacked Kelsie’s behind with it while she was leaning on the “bench".

Kelsie didn’t moan though, she was used to this while with Adam the part of his mind that Alan controlled was like

“you're on the right track keep pleasuring until she says you can shag her”

Adam had to explain 

“but dad Kelsie isn’t into sex”

Alan responded   
“you can still pleasure her can’t you, look part of being good at BDSM is knowing what pleasures the submissive so if both of you enjoy it then it’s a pleasant experience for both of you”

Adam asked

"Kelsie, are you enjoying being at the other end of this backbencher?”

Kelsie replied with “Yes but usually if I’ve thinking sexy thoughts I’m thinking them to music”

Adam said, “what song do you think would fit the mood?” 

Kelsie answered

“Maybe Bubblegum bitch and Sex Yeah by Marina and the diamonds”

Adam cut her off “I actually have that hang on,” said Adam as he went to his cd shelf and got out Electra Heart and turned the stereo to those requested tracks.

The experience was then even more enjoyable, as the spanking had finished, it was time for snogging”

Adam chuckled  
“but don’t you think it’s odd that you’re an anarchist hooking up with a tory politics student?”

Kelsie chuckled back

“do you think that my experience with hooks is like SpongeBob’s  experience with them ”

Adam got the reference

“he was naked in that episode wasn't he?"

Kelsie laughed it off   
“Me and my stupid obscure cartoon references”

“it’s fine laughed Adam as they started kissing 

Kelsie answered back 

“and it’s not hooking up back in WWII it was acceptable for soldiers to exchange friendly kisses to each other”

Adam smiled,“I might’ve made your ass red but you’re making my heart crimson”

as they had their final kiss before Kelsie realized the time and went back to her flat

In Adam’s demonic mind a smirking Alan with an odd dark colored outfit with wings and horns was sitting innocently congratulating his son on retaining his libido legacy and that cherries that aren't popped are still good cherries.


	4. Alan's Physical form

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam thinks it's only Alan's mind he has but that changes once he has a sudden magical transformation

With the new months meant new political scandals,however Adam being the procrastinator he was he spent most of it at festivals and red carpet film premieres

while he was watching one of those talking head channel 5 documentaries about old television actresses

he could feel something erupting,he felt his cybernetics connecting with a demonic aura

soon someone appeared who looked  like and sounded like his dad Alan

he looked like a old vampire,his hair grey and short and a poncy looking vest and tie

"Hello" he said proudly holding his hands out 

Adam was confused,

"Who are you?"

Alan introduced himself 

"have you forgotten it's Me,"

Adam started to realise it was the late Alan B'stard 

"Dad?"

"or as you know me your sweet daddy" Alan said smirking

Adam was still puzzled

"I thought it was only your mind I didn't know you still had a physical form"

Alan joked

"Demons and technology go together like Piers Morgan and Good Morning Britain it's complicated"

Adam pondered

"What about me if your a demon because your dead does that mean I'm one too?"

Alan explained

"Indeed but your demon form is more like what I looked like when I was your age"

"great" Adam groaned before he could feel himself floating away from the ground,shielding himself with bat wings and a blazer suit that had suddenly changed his appearance.

Adam's voice changed a bit too from the soft spoken adam to a loud voice like that of what Alan sounded like back in the day

Adam loved his new appearance

"I look irresitable and oh so lecterious"

"Well my libido is legendary" Alan said proudly

 Adam didn't think this would effect him too much personality wise until he had another meet up with Kelsie

"so you've been taking up poetry I see?" Adam noticed

Kelsie said "Yep I love writing"

Adam read through some of the poetry,

"a lot of this is anti tory though you realise that right?"

Kelsie shurgged  
"yeah so what"

 that was different the old kelsie would've said "yep" and moved on

"so you hate tories yet hang out with me" Adam remarked  
Kelsie said "yes because your my mate"

Adam felt happy about that but also felt a bit offended by the previous comment

 Kelsie then ranted about tories for a long while until there was silence Kelsie felt awkward and apologised saying it was just uncontructed venting.

 in the vent dream world of Kelsie's mind she was thinking about that show Adam's dad was in the new statesman thinking about stabbing him and thinking of ways to poison him in a loving way

 "Kelsie do you wanna dance?" Adam asked trying to sound seductive

 Kelsie answered "I really enjoyed the experience we had a few weeks back and what? dancing sorry Adam I'm crap at dancing"

Adam danced with her anyway they danced around Alan's old office even if most of it involved Adam leading the dance

 Kelsie's mind self was trying to stab alan again but he was having none of it that unfortunately got Adam's mind messed up

and Adam swore 

 Alan thought that would've scared Kelsie off but Kelsie just licked her lips and said "I didn't know you could swear like that" smiling widely

 Adam at this point was blushing red until he continued blushing and breathing,a bit too fast

even Alan knew that wasn't right and tried to calm Adam down when he overheard Kelsie say something

"Is it because you feel like because of our equally confusing minds and procrastination that you feel like you'll never live up to your late dad it's ok Adam I understand"

 Adam eventually calmed down  while Alan responded "She's a good bird keep her"

 Kelsie said "did you say there's birds and kipper?"

Adam tried to think of an excuse "Um no it was look at that bird over there" looking to someone in short shorts close by

 Adam saw Alex he hadn't talked Alex for days Alex was leaning against a wall licking a icelolly while a crowd nearby were chanting 

 Adam chatted up Alex and they were soon having some good banter

Kelsie had walked off

 Alan was questioning if Adam was queer or not

Alan brushed that thought off he was just cared that his son/sucessor was happy

 "what a interesting world this place is"

 Alan soon realized that nothing sexy was going on and Adam was simply chatting away to Alex making him think back to the conversations he would have with fellow politicians before he remembered he barely spoke positively to any of them he felt pathetic for getting angry and jealous of his own sons social life.

he could feel money from his pocket falling out as he cried only for the money to not land on the ground but to land on Kelsie's umbrella.

 


End file.
